Harry's little surprise

I must admit, I get it pretty easy. I leave the house for work at about eight every morning, returning home between six and seven in the evening as a rule.

This means that, by the time I get in, Harry has already had his tea and his bath, and is ready for bed. My role in the week is to look after him before I go to work, including feeding him breakfast, and then putting him to bed at night; Melissa deals with everything that goes on in between (except on the two days she works, in which case it's the two nans who are in charge).Now that Harry is walking, he's a real handful. Looking after him is an energetic business and it's no wonder Melissa looks worn out some days. On Saturday Melissa was out for the day, leaving me in charge of Harry. This is a rare occurrence, so I was determined to make the most of it. Harry was in a brilliant mood and we played all day; he even ate everything I put in front of him.

But one thing that I've learned over the last 16 months is that things change quickly. Having had his tea, I took Harry upstairs for his bath. He was happy, playing with his toys while I splashed him with the shower attachment. I then turned my back for a second to get his towel, ready to lift him out.

When I turned around, though, I was shocked to find that Harry had, how can I put this, had an accident (it's only the second time this has ever happened).Suddenly, looking after Harry didn't seem so easy. I whipped him out of the water, dried him quickly and put him in his cot - crying by now - while I disinfected the bath. Half an hour later, order was restored but it was stressful episode.

As Melissa pointed out later, she has to deal with these kind of episodes every day, so I got very little sympathy.It reminded me that as much as I would love to spend more time with Harry, it's not always easy. So I now have the utmost respect for full time mums and dads – it’s difficult to think of a more demanding job.

It's not always easy...

By and large, this is an upbeat column, which is a reflection of how much I am enjoying being a father. However, the responsibility of being a dad can be stressful and the last few weeks have brought that home to me.

It started when Harry picked up an ear infection that just wouldn’t clear up properly. Unfortunately, this was followed closely by tonsillitis, which really knocked him for six.

We knew something was wrong because Harry went off his food – which is extremely unusual – and when he developed a temperature on the Sunday evening, we were straight on the phone to Wrexham’s out of hours service and, shortly after, on our way to the Maelor.

Now I know out-of-hours medical services are often criticised but I can only say our experience was superb. We saw an extremely helpful doctor who not only prescribed antibiotics to treat the infection, but also gave us plenty of other useful advice.

The medication worked and Harry started to get back to his normal self but he was still off his food. I know this is not uncommon with toddlers but it was a real shock for Melissa and I, who are used to Harry eating anything that’s put in front of him.

In fact, all we could get to him to eat was yoghurt. This was fine while he was ill, but I started to become increasingly anxious after this went on for several days. He seemed to go off everything – he’d put a spoonful of food in his mouth, then take it out and throw it at you. This was generally followed by a tantrum, and a complete refusal to try any more food.

Unsurprisingly, Harry began to lose weight and he certainly wasn’t his usual happy, boisterous self.

Gradually, though, he’s regained his appetite and I’m pleased to say Harry is now eating properly again – and grabbing food off our plates at every opportunity. Believe me, our house is now a much happier place again.

I suppose I’d better get used to this worrying though; according to most parents, it doesn’t go away, no matter how old your children.

The beach

I’ve just enjoyed another action-packed weekend. I’m starting to get used to all this activity now – and it’s certainly helping me sleep better at night.

Saturday was hectic: a trip to Toys R Us in the morning to buy Harry a sit-on car, followed by a party at Silly Bart’s in Wrexham to celebrate Isabella’s second birthday. The party was great fun, and Harry ran himself into the ground, chasing round after the other children and clambering all over the play equipment.

The highlight, though, was seeing Harry on a bouncy castle. His expression was hilarious – he couldn’t work out how to stand up on it, so he spent most of the time sitting down letting the other children bounce around him.

Sunday was similarly hectic with a trip to the seaside – Barmouth to be precise. The weather was glorious; scorching hot and not a cloud in the sky. And thanks to Harry being a bit of an early bird, we were on the beach just after 9am.

Watching Harry on the sand was fascinating. It was obviously a strange sensation for him and it took him about an hour before he was confident enough to walk on it. But when he found his feet there was no stopping him and he was soon tearing around the beach, smashing all of the sandcastles I’d been busy making.

It was a similar story when we took him to the sea. Initially he was very cautious about going near the water and, when a wave touched his feet for the first time, he just squealed and ran away. Seconds later, he was charging back towards the water and within a couple of minutes he was down on all fours splashing around and generally having a great time.

By lunchtime, of course, Harry was shattered and he was fast asleep by the time we’d driven out of the car park. But something tells me we’ll be heading back to the beach very soon.

Leaving Harry behind

I’m happy to admit that I find it very difficult leaving Harry. I’ve got used to going to work, largely because I’ve managed to establish a routine that allows me to feed Harry his breakfast before I go, then bath him and put him to bed when I return home.

I also make an exception when it comes to Harry spending the odd night at his grandparents – it gives Melissa and I the chance to relax, not to mention the chance to have a bit of a lie-in. Even then, we’re always in a hurry to pick him up the following morning.

However, I spent last weekend on a stag night in Poland and it brought home to me just how precious my weekends are when it comes to spending time with Harry.

As best man, I simply had to go, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t enjoy the chance to have a few beers and a catch up with my friends; after all, since Harry arrived, it’s not been a regular occurrence.

But I do look forward to my weekends enormously because I get to spend so much time with Harry. Melissa likes to hand responsibility for him over to me, and I can spend all day running round after him. What made it worse was on this occasion was the fact that Harry had been poorly last week, suffering from a bout of tonsillitis.

So you can imagine my horror when we arrived at Krakow Airport on Sunday morning, only to find that Liverpool Airport was closed. Initially we were told there would be no flights to Liverpool for a few days and the prospects for the rest of the UK were looking bleak. The thought of being away from Harry for a few more days was heartbreaking.

Eventually, we managed to find four seats on a flight to Bristol. My friends immediately said that I should have one of them, as I needed to get back to Harry. I was extremely relieved and grabbed the chance to get home with both hands. I did feel a bit guilty about leaving the others behind, though, particularly when I found out they weren’t going to get back until Tuesday.

We finally made it home just before midnight on Sunday, much to my relief. Of course, Harry was fast asleep, and it took a fair amount of self control not to pick him up and give him a cuddle. When I heard him crying in the night, though, I was in his room like a flash.

He seemed very pleased to see me when he woke the following morning and I was over the moon when he pointed at me and said ‘da da’. Let’s just say I’m looking forward to this weekend.

Tantrums and challenges

As I’ve said several times in this column, being a dad is a wonderful and incredibly rewarding experience.

With Harry now 15 months old, however, I’m starting to understand one of the major challenges of parenthood – dealing with tantrums.

This is Harry’s latest discovery. If he doesn’t get his own way, he collapses in a heap on the floor and screams.

Unfortunately this can happen at any time – and Harry isn’t fussy about where he chooses to have his tantrums. We’ve had them in supermarkets, in the street, in cafes, and so on. I’ll admit it can be quite embarrassing, and you always get the odd person looking at you as if to say ‘how could be so cruel to that little boy’.

The first time it happened, I was so surprised I didn’t quite know how to react. It was a textbook tantrum – lying down on the floor and shouting at the top of his voice. In fact, it was so unexpected, I almost laughed.

At the moment, the slightest setback can trigger one. At home, we’ve got safety blanks covering all of our plug sockets, which is just as well because one of Harry’s favourite pastimes is flicking the switches. Of course, it’s my job to keep him away from the plugs and, guess what, this results in tantrums galore.

It’s incredible how quickly these tantrums blow over, though. Within seconds of crying his heart out, he will be back on his feet again laughing. Harry clearly knows what he’s doing.

Melissa says it’s just a phase and, as she points out, we’ll soon be able to communicate with him better. By this, I take it she means we’ll soon be able to start bribing him which, if I remember my childhood correctly, is just about the most effective way of ensuring good behaviour.

He is now saying a few more words and clearly understands more and more when we talk to him.

The best bit about this is opening the door when I get home from work, and hearing him shout ‘dad, dad, dad’. It’s a magical feeling and reminds me just how lucky I am.

My new lifestyle

I’ve said before that having a child alters your lifestyle massively and last weekend summed up just how much my life has changed since Harry arrived.

In the past, a bank holiday weekend would have been based around trips to the pub, a nice meal out, and maybe a trip to the football. This time, my weekend included taking Harry to see his great, great Auntie Margaret and Uncle Charlie, a trip to Chirk’s maypole dancing display, and a first birthday party.

Now if you’d have told me five years ago that’s how I would be spending my weekends, I doubt I’d have believed you. But do you know what? I loved every minute of it, mainly because I was able to spend so much time with Harry and, of course, because I got to show him off to family and friends.

Unfortunately, my ideas about ideal days out don’t always accord with Harry’s. This meant that during our visit to Ellesmere to see Auntie Margaret and Uncle Charlie, I spent most of the time trying to stop Harry breaking various bits of furniture.

The maypole event was another challenge as Harry was determined to join in the dancing, which meant something of a battle during the performance. We managed somehow, though, and it was definitely worth it for the excellent home-made Welsh cakes we bought.

On Sunday Harry was invited to a party to celebrate a first birthday of one of his friends from playgroup, Austin. It was great fun (the food was fantastic – it’s been a while since I was able to have proper party food) and there was even a bouncy castle which, unfortunately, was a little on the small side for me. Harry enjoyed it though, and it was great to see him playing with the other children, even if I did have to intervene on a couple of occasions as he tried to wrestle toys off other children.

As we were recovering on Sunday night, Melissa said: “It’s going to be like this for the next 15 years, so you’d better get used to it.” I might just do that, you know.

Food, glorious food

We’ve been lucky that Harry has been such a good eater since he started on solid food.

His appetite seemed to be endless and he was quite prepared to eat anything we put in front of him.
But as with all babies, things change very quickly and Harry has now decided there as some foods he just doesn’t like, which is making life a little bit, well, messy.

Generally, he will put the food into his mouth, but if he doesn’t like the taste or texture, he takes it out again and waves it around. Sometimes, if you’re unlucky or don’t move quickly enough, you get caught in the crossfire which means you can end up with food plastered across your face.

Harry’s chief dislikes when it comes to food at the moment are jelly, pasta, set custard and baked beans. These also happen to be among the messiest foods when he decides to start throwing them around the place.

Interestingly, this change in attitude to some foods has coincided with Harry wanting to play a more active role at meal times. When we let him have a spoon and a yoghurt, he is able to get at least some of the food into his mouth (although most of it still ends up on the highchair).

He also likes to share food now, which is another experience not to be missed. Harry will put some food into his own mouth before taking it out a moment later and trying to put it in your mouth instead.

Again, this can be a messy process as Harry’s coordination is not perfect and the food can just as easily end up in your ear as your mouth. And when it does end up in your mouth, it’s not always particularly pleasant having been chewed already.

Hopefully this is just another phase in his development that will pass fairly quickly – if only to save on all the washing.