Caravan guilt

THE conversation went something like this: “Hello daddy. Where are you?”

“Hello Harry, I'm on my way home from work.”

“Are you coming to the caravan?” “No, I can't Harry. Sorry.” “Why not? Are you missing me daddy?” “I am missing you Harry.” “Come here to the caravan then.”

And to a three-and-a-half-year-old, it made perfect sense; if I was missing him, why didn't I just go and see him?

The conversation happened earlier this week when Melissa took Harry and James to a caravan in Prestatyn for the week with her mum and dad.

As I didn't have any time off, I took them last weekend and returned home on Sunday, feeling guilty after the conversation with Harry I've just described. To be honest, I did think about staying in Prestatyn and commuting to work but because I would have arrived in Prestatyn at bedtime each evening, we decided it would be more trouble than it was worth.

So that left me rattling about the house on my own and one question that occurred to me several times during the course of the week was: what on earth did I do with all my time before we had children? Honestly, even getting in from work, going to the gym and catching up on the housework still left me twiddling my thumbs in the evening.

And the bit I was quite looking forward to – eight hours of uninterrupted sleep for an entire week – didn't materialise. Every night I woke up about 3am – probably because I'm used to waking up about that time with James – before waking again at 6am, when Harry usually bounds into our room like a mini tornado.

In fact, on one occasion this week, I found myself vacuuming the house at half six in the morning. Harry would have been proud of me.

Two children is plenty thanks...

I HAVE a great deal of respect for couples that decide to have more than two children. As somebody who comes from a large family (I have two sisters and one brother), I can only admire my mum and dad for coping. I'm not sure how they did it because five months into being a parent for the second time, it's tough going.

Of course, I wouldn't change it for the world but, equally, the thought of another baby fills me with terror. That's not to say that Harry or James are difficult; they just require a lot of attention, generally both at the same time.

That's perhaps a bit unfair on Harry. He's pretty easy to look after as long as you give him something to do.

James, on the other hand, is a little bit more demanding. He's taken to sleeping for only very short periods during the day – 10 or fifteen minutes is par for the course – and when he isn't sleeping, he wants attention. He has started taking an interest in toys (by interest, I really mean putting them in his mouth and gnawing on them) but they don't keep him quiet for long.

At a similar age, Harry would sleep for two or three hours at a time, which meant we were able to get plenty of jobs done. Much to Melissa's frustration, this simply isn't possible with James.

It's swings and roundabouts of course, because James is a much better sleeper at night – and on balance I think that a decent night's sleep is preferable.

More milestones for baby James

The little milestones are coming thick and fast for James. As well as being able to roll on to his side now, he's also started laughing properly. It's only slight change – previously he would just gurgle whereas he now chuckles properly – but it's a magical sound to my ears.

More importantly, however, he's also started having a little bit of baby rice. Although this is early (James is five months old next week), his appetite is such that he had started waking in the middle of the night again for a feed.

I had forgotten just what a messy, frustrating experience weaning can be. I tried to feed him his baby rice the other day and I swear it ended up everywhere except in his mouth.

Generally, he is so keen to grab the spoon that most of the food never reaches his mouth. The bit that does get there almost invariably comes straight back out again. I must be getting old because I can't remember Harry being such a problem.

Still, it's a sign that James is growing up and at least that means he's easier to handle. He is rapidly losing the vulnerability of a newborn, which is particularly good news when Harry decides it's time for a cuddle.

Speaking of Harry, he is also growing up fast – so fast in fact that Melissa has ordered his school uniform. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, Harry is clearly ready for school – he needs to be kept busy and I'm sure school will help in this regard.

On the other hand, the thought of him going to school makes him seem almost too grown up – he is only three and a half, after all – and, as irrational as it is, I can't help but feel that he's just too young to fend for himself in a classroom.