The learning curve

I’ve said repeatedly that being a parent has been a massive learning curve for me. But as well as learning all about being a dad, I’ve also learned quite a lot about Melissa.

There’s no doubt that having a baby puts plenty of pressure on a couple. First there’s the obvious factors like a lack of sleep that can cause one or two sharp words. Then there’s the stress involved in being responsible for a baby – and worrying constantly about their wellbeing.

And I will admit that we’ve had the odd sharp exchange when Harry’s fallen over or, worse, when one of us has given him food that’s a little bit too hot.

One thing that has surprised me, though, is that having Harry has brought out a previously unseen, slightly dishonest side to Melissa. Now before I find myself out on the street, we’re not talking about serious dishonesty here. What we’re talking about is pretending to be asleep when Harry cries in the middle of the night, even when it’s her turn to get up.

Having said all that – and without wishing to sound soppy – Melissa and I have definitely grown closer since Harry was born. For a start we’re spending more time together, and what could be a more important shared interest than Harry?

It’s also true to say that the stressful moments pale into insignificance against the moments of awe and pure happiness – the first time I held Harry, the first time he sneezed, the first time he smiled, his first steps… I could go on and on.

And anyway, Melissa and I have sort of reached an agreement whenever there’s cross words about Harry. It seems to be based on the Brian Clough technique of management; we sit down to discuss an issue involving Harry, talk about it for ten minutes, and then decide Melissa was right all along. Well at least it makes for a quiet life.